The current state of our society reminds me very much of the journey I have been on with a disease called Menieres for the past ten years.
In 2010 Menieres showed up as an uninvited guest who was screaming constantly in my right ear, sometimes throwing temper tantrums in the form of loud banging on pans, or sounding a shrill flute, chaotic but steady drumming and the always present swooshing wild waves in order to try and get my attention.
When that didn't work he added random bouts of vertigo: dizziness and nausea to make me be still and listen. When vertigo arrives, there is only one thing I can do and that is drop everything I thought I would do and surrender completely until vertigo decides to leave.
To me this sounds a bit like the uninvited guest of COVID and the seemingly random requests and restrictions that are thrown at us. Perhaps all illness, when it arrives, is seen as an uninvited guest.
So as I experienced Mr. Menieres as quite an unpleasant and rather rude guest, I tried everything I could to make him leave. Yes I see Menieres as a 'he', partially as Menieres is referring to an actual person, and as I eventually I started to see the disease as a dance partner.
Well, this grumpy guest was not ready to leave, and the more I resisted and wanted him to leave, the more he was hurt and in turn made me feel miserable. Whatever I tried, it did not seem to work. Sometimes he would ease off a bit reducing his noise a bit and stop throwing his vertigo temper tantrums for a bit, but then at unexpected times, he would come back with what seemed a vengeance.
This angry dance went on for what seemed like an eternity. And boy, did I try to get rid of this dance partner! After 8 years of trying everything I could to make him leave, I surrendered and accepted he would not leave. I even surrendered to the point that I let go of what brings me so much joy: teaching at Sun Studio.
In the surrendering, I found relative peace and stillness on Robertson Island, at the art studio and meditating in nature. With this I created space for Mr. Menieres to come and go as he pleased and perhaps we both learned to dance a bit more of a peaceful dance.
Yet when September came around, for whatever reason, Mr. Menieres came with such increased discomfort that my world became very small. I felt confined to the house as I hadn't been able to go out into nature and to the art studio as much as I had hoped to. I had also hoped I could open Sun Studio again and now I wasn't able to. I actually started to feel desperate and depressed and I blamed Mr. Menieres for it all and went back to the angry and sad pushing dance.
COVID brings a similar experience, doesn't it? We hope to be able to start doing things again, open up our bubbles again, and return to the 'old way' of being. Then the next wave hits and we're back to square one. It can bring a mix of sadness and anger. Yet, the more we focus on it, the more we wish it to go away, the more intense it becomes.
Feeling so desperate, with my mind going in a 100 different directions while my actual movements were restricted in most directions, I realized I was going down in a dark and downward spiral. I came to the conclusion I needed a rescue mission and there was only one direction left. And that was of changing the track of my mind and finding relief in a different way.
Accepting Mr. Menieres and COVID are likely not leaving any time soon, how can we learn to be with them? How can we create more space around us, while our sense of movement is restricted?
As I shared above, I felt the immense difference in my mental environment, as soon as I committed to a 40 day mantra meditation and kundalini yoga practice again. Mantra is a very effective way to lift us out of repetitive negative throughs and change the mental track to a more positive one.
The light it shone on my darkness, through stretching my body and mind, helped me become lighter, more spacious and even though the situation with Mr. Menieres and Covid hasn't changed, I again have found a way to dance with them more at ease.
May the Long Time Sun Shine Upon You
All Love Surround You
And the Pure Light Within Guide Your Way On
Please let me know if I can support you in finding a practice for you to help you through this time with more ease and lightness of mind and body. Don't hesitate to email me and request resources or guidance.
Many blessings of peace, love and light,