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Light Writings

Opening the Door

2/16/2021

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When we Open the Door of our Heart
We open Ourselves up to a larger World 
Beyond the small Self

When we Close all Doors
- For the Outside World seems to be too Overwhelming - 
We find Ourselves Alone
Stewing in our own Thoughts
Dwelling in our own Misery

It's impossible to Look Out through our Heart's Eye
For All Windows are Covered
For all Doors are Locked

So when we do wish to Look Out
We climb up to the Attic
To look out from our Mind's Eye

The trouble with the Mind's Eye
- When coming from a Closed Heart -
Is that it's Clouded Over
We are wearing Milky Glasses
So thick we can't Perceive the World Clearly

When the Heart is Closed
Our Mind becomes like a Glass of Polluted Water
And you just keep Stirring the Same water
Over and Over
Water mixed with the same Old Debris
That's been Collecting over Life Times

Opening the Heart Scares a Lot of People
Fear it may be too Overwhelming
The Flood of Emotions that may Arrive on our Doorstep
Painful Memories that may come knocking on the Door of our Heart
Fear of the Flood

In Ancient Egypt the Flood was Welcomed
Hapi, God of the Nile was revered for the Fertility it Brought
Depicted with Breasts
Honouring the Nourishing Nature of the Flood
For the flood waters cleansed the Banks of the Nile
And brought much needed Irrigation
Once the Flood Retreated
Healthy and Fertile Soil Remained
Ready for planting new Seeds

When the Flood Gates Open
Initially it may feel Intense
For the Waters Rise Steadily
Creating pressure on the Banks

These initial Waters bring with Them
All the Pollution and Debris
Collected over Time

Initially this may be All we See and Experience

Yet if we keep the Flood Gates Open
The continuous Stream of Clear Waters
Will cleanse and clear the Debris

If instead we Choose
To either keep the Flood Gates Closed
Or quickly Shut them back down again after Peaking Out
Then we Continue to Dwell
In our own Misery 
In our own Debris
In our own Pollution

Right now we are at a Time and Space
Where we are Collectively Steeping
In Polluted Waters

Collectively we Closed the Dams
Closed our Eyes
To what was Happening

Yet collectively we feel the Pressure of the Polluted Waters
And right now it Is rising to a Point
Where we only have Two Choices:

1. Either we Consciously Open the Floodgate
2. We keep the Floodgate Closed and Wait for the Dam to Break open Forcefully

For the Waters are Rising
The Pressure is Building
Beyond the Capacity of the Dam

We all Feel It
Whether we want to or Not

Opening the Floodgate by Choice is not for the Faint of Heart

Often I feel like slamming the Door Shut
When it feels too Overwhelming
At times it can feel just Hopeless
​It can feel like tredding through Heavy Thick Mud
Filled with Grief, sadness, fear and Anger

Sometimes I'm under the illusion I'm swimming in a Private Pool
Filled with the Waters of my own personal Emotions
Other times I'm aware of the Collective Sadness, Grief, Fear and Anger
Aware I'm actually swimming in a Public Pool of Collective Emotions

I come back to my dance with Menieres
Menieres is a Teacher
Menieres is teaching me how to Swim

Menieres has shown me when my Circumstances
Make me physically feel so Ill that I wish to Quit
It helps me to dwell in my Heart 
To dwell in Trust
And to Surrender
Rather than continue to dwell in my Worried Mind

When I do so, it doesn't change the World
I'm still riding the wild waves of Vertigo
But at least I'm not adding to Create
 Wild Waves in the Whirlpool with my Mind

Instead I'm creating a Peaceful Pool in the Middle of it All
Where I can dwell in the Peaceful Light of my Mind
While going through the Motions

I'm a Slow Learner
It took me at least 7 years out of 11
Before I became conscious I had a Choice
That I could create a Peaceful Pool

It did also help when I started to become Aware
That there was something larger at Play
That I was not only swimming in a Public Pool
But instead I am swimming in a Cosmic Pool

This morning as I stepped out the back Door
To head out for Meditation at the Art Studio
My eye caught the Twinkling Light of a Star
I checked my App
- For the Nightsky is a big Mystery to Me -
And I found out the Twinkling Star
Is Draco's Left Eye

Draco ~ Dragon ~ Constellation
She has been Calling me for a while Now

Draco is always with Us
Circling around the Polestar 
While other Constellations may Come and Go
- Dipping Above and Below the Horizon -
Draco is pretty much Always There

Sitting in the Art Studio 
I look up through the Skylight
And spot a Twinkling Star
Again I check my App (oh so handy....)
And indeed it is Draco's Left Eye

It makes me feel less Alone
Even though we are Light years apart
She's bringing her Sweet Light
Into my Being through my Eyes

My Mind's Eye would like to Know 
So many Things about this Star

Yet when I dwell in my Heart's Eye
I feel a deep Love
A deel Longing
And a deep Embrace

I become Aware Draco has many Stories to Tell
Stories beyond what is Known to Us
Stories beyond what we can See with our Physical Eyes

These Stories fill me with Hope and Light
These Stories arrive like a Precious Gift
Waiting to be Unpacked by the Warm Fire of the Hearth

I gratefully Accept
And Receive this Gift
Through the Open Door of my Heart

Many blessings of Peace, Love and Light,
​Kiki


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New WayS For Sun Studio

2/12/2021

1 Comment

 
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Today is a New Day and a New Dawn and a New Year
With the Arrival of the Metal Ox pulling a Golden Cart filled with Treasures
It's Driver revealed many Things Today

New ways of Teaching
New ways of Receiving
New ways of Offering

Entering New Ways and New Paths often Means
Saying Goodbye to Old Friends
For some Friends may wish to Travel and Explore a different Path
Or continue on the Path they were used To
All is in Perfect and Divine Order

I shall try to Convey what I understand Now
I may not understand All
For this is a New Path

All I know is that Sun Studio has been Waiting
At the Cross Roads
​Waiting to hear which Direction to Take
Since March 2020 when it Closed the Doors to the Public

As some of you may Recall
I shared I felt it was like Sun Studio went on Maternity Leave

Now I understand Sun Studio was indeed Pregnant
And needed time for Gestation
While we were waiting in the Womb
Of the Sun

So Nine Months Passed
And December Arrived
Solstice 2020
And the Circle of Light was Born

From this tiny speck of an Idea
We grew to a World Wide Web of Light
77 Souls joined and added their Light
Into 2021

This Birth has Ripple Effects
Like a Drop of Water in the Ocean
It's reaching Shores across the Globe

From this first Circle of Light
A Second Ripple arrived: the Creative Circle of Light
and now a Third Ripple arrived: The Sanctuary of Light

I am not sure how many more will Unfold
​I do know there's a Gold Cart full of Treasures at the Door Step
Waiting to be Unpacked

So..... what does all this mean for you? 
You are welcome to help me Unpack
And Support the Studio by joining any of the Ripples/Circles that are Unfolding

For Sun Studio is calling for Bees,
To help spread the Light
And I would joyfully and gratefully accept your Support during this Special Time

Now you may not feel called to this New Way
To be a Bee
Or a supporter of the Studio any longer

For the Studio looks quite different after this Birth

At this point I am unsure if the Studio will ever return to
Yoga classes, Dance classes, Musical gatherings and
all the other Offerings that were part of the Studio before

So I understand if you wish to part Ways
Whichever Path you Choose
I would like to offer you an Irish Blessing:

Deep Peace of the Running Wave to You,
Deep Peace of the Quiet Earth to You,
Deep Peace of the Flowing Air to You,
Deep Peace of the Shining Stars to You,
Deep Peace of the Gentle Night to You,
Moon and Stars Pour their Healing Light on You

Many Blessings of Peace, Love and Light,
​Kiki



​





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Of the Wild Places

1/19/2021

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This morning, I stood still
And found myself contemplating this painting

It has been hanging in our bathroom for years now
I enjoy it for it reminds me to remain calm within the storm
That there is a way through the storm

While the painting process was intuitive and without predetermined ideas
To me, the image of a canoe emerged in the right bottom corner
And the image of a big Whale ready to swallow boat and all
Yet on the left I see the image of a breaching White Whale
Pointing towards the door in the dark
To me an image of Hope

Yet today I became aware it is time to change the Painting
It's time for a Change of the Guard

For this image does bring the remembrance of turmoil
It brings the Whirling and Twirling of storms
Both Inner and Outer Storms

And while these storms are very real
I am ready to choose Peace and Calm
I am ready to choose a more quiet Power
I am ready to cultivate this more Consciously

I will start by replacing the Painting
And this brings in a sense of Power

I have the Power
To choose what I am looking at every Day
I have the Power

To choose what I am bringing in each Day
I have the Power

To choose what I am praying for each Day

I will replace this Vertigo Painting
By my painting of Cape Saint James
Which I created shortly after my arrival in Canada

I painted it after Tracy and I kayaked around Kungit Island
And paddled out to Cape Saint James
One of the most wild, untouched islands of Haida Gwaii

This is a Wild Place
We had to paddle really hard to get out there
The tides were pulling and tugging at our kayak
The winds was blowing in funny ways around us
For a moment I thought we might end up drifting into the endless waters to the south

This is a Wild Place
As we approached we could hear this roaring sound above the wind
For the rocks were covered with roaring Sea Lions
This is an impressive sound that goes deep down in one's core
One is left with Awe, Wonder and a deep Respect

This is a Wild Place
This place taught me many Things
This place taught me the Power of Nature
This place taught me the True Power of Water and Wind


It taught me deep Respect
It taught me the true meaning of the word Awe


This is the remembrance I wish to look at each Day
This is the Respect I want to cultivate each Day
This is the Awe I want to experience each Day

Many Blessings
​Kiki
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New Years Blessings

1/10/2021

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New Years Blessings with the Light of the Waters

Many Blessings for a Peace-Filled, Love-Filled and Light-Filled New Year

This Morning
As I paddled over in the Dark 
The Waters were Calm and Peaceful

Sitting at the Altar of Light,
Meditating on the Light of the Candle
The Light of the Waters is very Present
And I received the Invitation
To connect to the Waters
To go to the Waters Today
To receive the Light Blessings from the Waters

So I invite you
To create some Time and Space 
For we received a Call from the Waters
For the Waters would like to Meet and Greet Us
On this New Day of the New Dawn in the New Year

Sit or stand by the Waters
This can be as big as the Ocean 
Or as small as a Rain Drop

Allow its Light to Enter
Through the Eyes and Third Eye
Allow its Light to Fill You
To Overflowing 
​
Allow its Light to Flow through your Whole Body
Allow it to Fill you up to Overflowing
Allow it to Flow Into Mother Earth
Stand here and receive the Light
Allow it to Flow

Connect to the Light of the Waters for as long as feels right to You

You may wish to sprinkle some water on your Forehead
You may wish to create more Ritual
You may wish to bring an Intention
You may wish to bring or create an Offering
You may wish to simply stand there for a few minutes 

Simply Stand 
Connect
To the Light of the Waters

When it feels Complete
Thank the Waters
Bless the Waters
For it’s bringing Sacred Light and Healing to You 
And through You to our World

So I thank You
And so I thank the Waters
Many blessings to you All
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December 5 Reflections on Light and Dark

12/5/2020

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Picture
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December 5
Reflecting on Sinterklaas and Zwart Piet
On Light and Dark

Growing up in the Netherlands December 5th was the highlight of the dark days of December. We did not have Santa Claus coming for Christmas, we would have cozy family dinners instead.

The promise of Sinterklaas coming would fill my heart with anticipation. He usually arrived on a steamer filled with presents in the harbour about two weeks ahead of time. Then he would parade through towns seated on his tall and beautiful white horse surrounded by Zwarte Pieten giving out pepernoten (spiced little hard cookies) and candy.

Sinterklaas would visit my school too and bring his big red book to see if we had all been good and to write down our wishes. We would sing songs and assure him we’d been good children.

At home we would put out our shoes by the hearth and sing fervently each evening before bedtime hoping he would drop something through the chimney during the night.

When December 5th finally arrived -which seemed like an eternity- we would gather at night at my grandparents place and all my aunts and uncles and cousins would gather. We would sing songs and Sinterklaas bringing along one Zwarte Piet would usually make another appearance. Again he’d bring his book and check us all. Zwarte Piet would have his big canvas bag ready for any ‘stoute kinderen’ (naughty children) to take back on the boat to Spain.

Thankfully nobody was ever taken and instead more pepernoten and candy would appear as well as huge bags filled with presents upon their leaving. The presents would all have a handwritten poem on it, written personally by Sint. It would reflect on some part in the receivers life or on the gift. Some poems would be 4 lines, others would be pages long. Now, 40 plus years later I still bring in Dutch pepernoten and presents with poems still arrive.

While sipping on some tea and a candle lit, I reflect on the light and dark that Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet represent.
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Saint Nicholas was an actual person born around the year 300 in a place called Myra which is now located in Turkey, but then was part of Greece. He helped poor children by secretly giving them food and sometimes money. He passed away December 6 in the year 342. There are many churches in many countries built in his name. 

He may have ridden a white horse at the time, though more likely he’d walk around and built a following perhaps in the same way Jesus did 300 years earlier. Some of these followers became his disciples or helpers, which are now called Zwarte Pieten. 

As a child I always assumed Zwarte Piet, which literally translates as Black Peter, was black because of the smudges and soot as he went through the dark and narrow chimneys to deliver us all presents. Now there’s a debate whether or not there was a racial aspect to this. You may research and choose to think as you wish.

I’m interested in the symbolic meaning though, rather than the literal meaning. Which just helps to create a context. 

Saint Nicolas with his white beard and white horse obviously represents the light. He is the lighter of the flame of hope and anticipation in a child’s heart, at least he was in mine. Zwarte Piet brings the reflection of the dark and what that represents, the threat of being out in a jute bag and brought to Spain, a country far away from the cozy home and family would fill me with dread and pushed me to behave so that I would not be chosen to go to ‘dark place far away down South’ - by some referred to as ‘hell’.

Yet Zwarte Piet is the one who is willing to descend, in the dark of night, through the narrow, dirty and dark chimney, to bring us candy and gifts in our shoes. How does one rhyme this with the same person filling you with dread?

Ah, the gifts of the Dark, the willingness to go through the dark, uncomfortable places so we may receive the gifts of the Light.

There is no light without the dark
Both encompass everything 
The dark swallows the colours of the light
The light radiates and shines the colours of the light
Both contain the whole spectrum 

I shall continue to sit with both as we move through these dark days
May we all receive gifts from both ❤️
Kiki
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